The idea of Pretty Paper Life was created because for much of my life I’ve lived beholden to this idea of what looked good on paper. I imagine the origin of these ideas are not that hard to trace when looking at my background. There are probably psychological and developmental reasons this notion took such a strong hold. Perhaps it was losing my mother at such a young age, or having an adopted mother that seemed not to value the authentic version of me so I created a sort of replica that would fit neatly into her standards (initially), and then over time it sort of morphed into what the world seemed to value.

I think it’s something many people can relate to today. The idea of curating an image that in a way becomes a life. With social media at the heart of how most people live much of the time, the stories people tell online somehow become what shapes their lives-even if it’s unconsciously. We have an articulated image that is refined over time through pictures, posts, updates and stories. At some point we have to ask ourselves-Is this really representative of who I am? Have we so carefully curated an image that we have spliced off crucial parts of ourselves and fabricated others in pursuit of capturing this ideal.

It makes me sad when I think of how this social (usually digital) image is so enmeshed in development that I think this is becoming a systemic problem for young people at large. There is almost no separating the developmental years from the development of ones social media profile today.

My hope is that my own struggle and journey back to self is a sort of roadmap for others who find themselves untethered, for those that are yearning to find a way back. My purpose for writing in addition to processing my own life is to reach others who feel alone, isolated or misunderstood. For me one of the most therapeutic aspects of humanity has been the ability to see myself in others, to relate, to feel seen, to feel connected and know that I am not alone.